There are a hundred thousand kinds of traditions and customs across the world. The bizarre among them is polyandry in which a girl has to marry her husband's brothers.
The ancient Hindu tradition of polyandry was once widely practised in India but is now only observed by a minority. It sees a woman taking more than one husband typically in areas which are male dominated. In fraternal polyandry, the woman is expected to marry her original husband's brothers. It is a thought that arose from the popular Sanskrit epic of Mahabharata which sees Draupadi, daughter of the King of Pancha being married to five brothers.
While everyone is well aware of Draupadi and the five Pandavas, the custom still exists in most parts of Brazil, China, Africa and also in some parts of North India. No exact reason for such a custom has been known. However, people feel that girls in these regions are less in number as compared to the number of men.
This practice is believed to be a way of keeping farming land in the family. It is most commonly found near the Himalayas and Tibet as well.
We know about Draupadi in the Satya Yuga (age of truth) the wife of five Pandavas is considered the only woman in history to marry five brothers. Marriage is not just a tradition, it is considered the most sacred bond of every religion and civilization. By joining the relationship, husband and wife become each other for life and always support each other in sadness and happiness. No woman or man is allowed to marry more than one in India. But here Draupadi, named Rajo Verma, 21 is married to five brothers of the same family.
In a small village near Dehradun, Uttarakhand in North India, it is a tradition for women to marry their first husband's brothers. Rajo officially married Guddu Verma in the year 2009 in a traditional Hindu ceremony after their parents set them up in an arranged marriage. But Rajo then had to accept all of Guddu's brothers as her husbands.
For the first month, the couple lived alone. But then Guddu's three brothers Bajju Verma, Sant Ram Verma, and Gopal Verma joined with them. Dinesh Verma, the youngest was a minor at that time but when he came of age, he became Rajo's fifth husband. The young girl is remarkably happy about her lifestyle. Rajo recalled that this is a tradition we've been following for centuries. My mother was also married to three brothers. This is how we are. We're a happy family and live with each other in peace and tranquillity. We love and support each other.
All the brothers are completely illiterate instead they work as farmers and labourers in nearby villages. Rajo takes care of the home and also caring their 18-month-old son, Jay Verma. Rajo said that when I got married I knew I had to accept all of them as my husbands. I was fine with it. I get a lot more attention and love than most wives I'm sure. I sleep with them in turn in our one room. We don't have beds, just lots of blankets on the floor. Initially, it feels a bit awkward but it becomes normal after time. We have a strong bond and respect. I don't favour one over the other; all my husbands are equal to me.
We follow rules and nobody breaks them as Rajo explained. Rajo doesn't know which of her husbands is the natural father of her son Jay but for official purposes, Guddu is his father.
For centuries the tradition of Polyandry, where a woman has more than one husband has been a practical solution to the geographic conditions for villagers in these parts of India. The method controls how inherited land is divided between brothers even generations after generations. But with more contact with the outside world, gradually the tradition is disappearing and younger generations are opting for a one-man-one-woman family.
Guddu added that we have little land and resources here. If our previous generations had married separately, we would have been left with no land to work. This tradition has worked for us practically for many years and is the key to our survival. The family wants many more children and would like them to follow the tradition of polyandry too but only if they wish.
Any children Rajo gives birth that will be called Guddu's children for official purposes but as per tradition, all brothers will have rights in their children's upbringing.
The eldest brother, Bajju Verma controls the family's finances. He gathers the wages of the day and then spends the money accordingly. He is taking care of food, travel, health and clothes. That's his role in the family. I consider her as my wife and I sleep with her just like my brothers. We are happy as we are and none of us have any plans to marry or change the arrangement. We will go on to have more children and continue with the tradition as Bajju shared. Guddu voiced that we’re happy. We live, eat, and sleep in our small house and we're one big happy family.
I am not jealous when my wife sleeps with my brothers who are just our life. I like the way we live. We all have sex with her but maintain each other's privacy. There is a saying that all disputes are created because of money, women and land. We share all of them. So there are never any disputes.
Written by Ramya, Assistant Professor & Tribal Researcher, Department of English, P.K.R Arts College for Women, Erode Dt Tamilnadu
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